Never, ever, as a mother make the cardinal mistake of saying, “I am going to have a really relaxing evening tonight after I put the kids to bed.” THEY WILL KNOW!!! They will then alternately get up, and take turns screaming through their doors at you. Until it is time for you to go to bed, and those dreams for a relaxing evening all to yourself are gone. As I am typing this, Kid #1 just got out of her bed and Kid #2 is screaming in his room. They know.

Even when I was pregnant they knew. At 25 weeks of pregnancy with Kid #2, I went a full 24 hours without throwing up. I told Eric because that was definitely something to be proud of. That day at work, somebody asked Eric how I was doing. He said, it seemed that I was finally on the up. Baby #2 sensed that, and I got sick again. I threw up for 3 days straight. Not holding anything down. Around 30 weeks I had a full 3 days without throwing up, and decided it was a long enough period to brag to husband about. As soon as I told him, I started throwing up again. I love my kids. But they know. They definitely know.